Yesterday I was watching confirmation hearings for our next Attorney General on the Crazy Collusionary Criminally Corrupt Cable News Network ( I am not a single media outlet type of person ). Senator Jeff Sessions was doing an outstanding job answering the various questions. As usual, the Democrats always seemed to ask questions about racism. Turns out Jeff Sessions successfully prosecuted numerous KKK members back in the day. He pretty much eliminated the Klan as a functional organization. Ted Cruz did a fine job of bringing that out.
Senator Sessions was doing so well I wondered how the Crazy Collusionary Criminally Corrupt Cable News Network would rain on his parade. That’s when it happened. Wolf Blitzer broke into the confirmation hearings with an exclusive special report. Oh this is normal, what ever happened to normal news.
The brazen Blitzer begins “The Russians have compromising evidence against President Elect Donald Trump”. Huh, really I was just wondering what you were going to do. I am going to have to get some tinfoil and build me a hat. You just read my mind.
“Crazy Collusionary Criminally Corrupt Cable News Network has exclusive unsubstantiated evidence that the Russians have compromising information in a detailed two page top secret report” says my buddy Wolf. Oh, Wolf you just made this up because you were bored?
“The President Elect, the President and the gang of eight have all seen the report” continues my main man Blitzer at the Crazy Collusionary Criminally Corrupt Cable News Network. Huh, you really don’t want me to listen to these hearings do you Wolf.
So I changed the channel and began to listen to Mike Rowe explain “How The Universe Works”. That was much more rewarding. Yah.